Eurovision 2015: Final #JEFJudgement

The competition commenced with a clip of skiers skiing down a mountain in the formation of the European Union flag with torches as the 12 stars. Conchita wearing a pink glittery outfit started to sing whilst the ceiling was moving like a phoenix. There were kids singing, fireworks exploding and a lot of cheering. Not only was this edition screened live in China, but it also received the befitting nickname ‘Breakfast TV’ in Australia.

France:

Singing in French, the solo female singer sounded torn. She looked very stern and even though I did not understand the song, it was clear that it was about something quite sad and serious. There were four drummers accompanying her performance. She certainly did not make the most out of her free ticket to the final.

United Kingdom:

It sounded as if Electro Velvet took a page from Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby. The Roaring Twenties music and style made the listener nostalgic. The highlight of the performance was their fluorescent clothes.

Australia:

As the underdogs in the competition, they’ve surprised everyone with a very good song. Their non-European accent was an interesting addition and made the crowd go wild. A very good performance which will hopefully introduce Australian music to Europe in the future.

Austria:

The three rugged male trio was not as bad as the scoreboard would imply. What probed me to be a bit cautious of them was them setting the piano on fire. Does the Eurovision not have any safety protocols regarding burning instruments?

Germany:

The catwoman with one earring did not outdo herself. Wearing a black catsuit that would make Angela Merkel cringe, was not a good choice. Both Austria and Germany, the main German speaking nations, received 0 points.

Spain:

The Little Red Riding Hood was singing in Spanish. I couldn’t take her seriously after she flashed her underwear to the 180 million viewers watching.

Italy:

The trio of men was aesthetically pleasing. They were the best non-English singing act. “Grande Amore” to Italy! They were very good, no wonder they placed in the top 3.

The highlight of the final was the voting. Polina from Russia took the lead at the beginning. She couldn’t believe it and was crying on Conchita’s shoulder in the green room. The Balkan Bloc was heavily supporting Russia. Belarus, Azerbaijan, Estonia, and Armenia all gave 12 points to Russia. The idea of Putin hosting the next Eurovision made everyone tremble. He would probably host them somewhere in Siberia and then the Sochi Olympics jokes would start rolling in. Or everyone would boycott and the 61st edition of Eurovision would have never happened.

Just when everyone was sinking in their seats due to Russia leading the way, Sweden who were second overtook them. The largest roar of approval from the audience as well as I imagine the viewers sitting in front of their TVs and laptops, was heard. There was one thing the listeners had on their mind and they were chanting it like a mantra: “Anyone but Russia”. The Russian presenter even stated that 12 points from Russia were going to Russia. Even though he was joking, I found that rather distasteful. The presenters tried to regain control of the competition by stating that their ‘Building Bridges’ motto was about music having no boundaries and everyone should be treated equally. They did an admirable job, however good looks and smiles can’t change the way the world is. Although, it could be argued that music makes the world go round, and it depends on which side of the globe you’re standing on.

Måns Zelmerlöw in his tight pants and his drool-worthy smile, in the end made it hard for anyone else to take home the coveted trophy. He was awarded 365 points, the third highest amount in Eurovision history. He has won our hearts, but there is room for only one person in his heart, who he’s marrying in June. Originally he wanted to play one of his songs that he wrote, but when he heard the lyrics of his winning song, he decided to go with it. Not only is he glad that he did change his mind, but we are also thrilled that he did. Remember, “We are the heroes of our time”!